“It’s so you to….” and “Nothing says you like…” also crop up in your new partner’s language. It’s official: Spotify is your over-enthusiastic new boyfriend and it wants to show you how much it knows you better than you know yourself. ![]() ‘Only You’ is weird and says things like: “Playing Pyramid by Wolfmother in the evening is pretty much the most you thing ever”. Note this down for next time.)Īnyway: for their next trick, Spotify have gone even creepier with ‘Only You’, a series of illustrated slides that tell you what you’re like – via the music you listen to – and in a tone of voice that sounds like that mate you have on Instagram who calls their partner “this one”, tells you all the time how funny they are and refers to their friends as “beautiful humans”. (I picked this as a joke – but, actually, ‘Tragedy’ would be a great song for a break up. If you had your heart broken and, much like a pregnancy craving, the only thing that could hit the spot and make you feel slightly better was something a bit weird – like, say, Tragedy by Steps – I doubt we’re seeing it on your story. Of course, we probably only saw the cool ones. We were all treated to everyone’s Spotify Wrapped at the end of 2020: endless screenshots of people’s ‘Most Listened To’ and how many times they’d played that Phoebe Bridgers song, cryptically trying to let their ex know it was due to their breakup. I’ve got Apple Music, which like every platform is not perfect, but at least they don’t act like a slightly obsessive reply guy who watches your every move and then, on a six-to-12-months basis, tells you what you’ve been listening to, like Spotify. ![]() Given that they are widely considered the Bad Guys when it comes to paying artists what they deserve, this is perhaps not so much a confession as a brag, but: I’m not on Spotify.
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